For 50 years, 100,000 priests have left the Catholic Church Has the Catholic Church failed in its transformation? Has it become, in the West, a dinosaur unsuited to society? Here is the question treated from the inside, through the story of a priest who followed the dogma somehow for thirty years, before leaving the Church of his own free will. Gérard Loizeau entered the seminary at the age of 11, armed with the best intentions and a precocious faith. He quickly becomes disenchanted under the "beneficial vice" of a universe of incomprehensible harshness; he feels trained like an animal and sees his childhood confiscated. As a teenager, several questions haunted him: Does God really want celibacy for men of the robe? Does he want the suffering of human life through extreme penance? The author will have two depressions, but will keep his celibacy until the age of 44 years. Then, exhausted to see the Church camp on positions that he considers retrograde, he lets go, to everyone's surprise. On what he has seen, on what he has experienced, he will be asked to keep quiet. It is also the history of France of the last fifty years that we cross through this destiny, from the Algerian war to the current setbacks of the Vatican, via May 68. This book is of a stylistic elegance which brings it closer to the classics of confession, a genre initiated by Saint-Augustin.